It’s time to start sleeping in your own bed.

This is directed at me-not Luca.

Now, I know a lot of people are going to have their own opinions about this, but honestly- their opinion has nothing to do with me and what I do in my home.

I sleep in Luca’s room with him. I put him to bed around 9pm and then around midnight, after I’ve read and done everything I can to try and get my mind to turn off, I go in his room and lay down with him. He does not need me, I need him. I lay on the opposite side of the bed and make sure not to disturb him (most nights). But I’m not ready for him to be a big boy yet.

My husband asked me last night when I was going to let Luca sleep in his room alone and I got very emotional. Luca has been ready. He doesn’t even realize I’m in there until he wakes up the next morning. I just am not ready to accept that he doesn’t need his mommy to sleep with him anymore.

The other night, I snuggled up next to him, which of course woke him up when he realized mommy was in the room with him. When he knows I’m there, then all he wants to do is be in my arms and then it’s hard for me to sleep because I can’t get comfy. But on those nights, I’m willing to sacrifice the sleep for those baby snuggles. The exhaustion is catching up with me though. Two mornings now, I have not woken up in the morning when he wakes up. The first morning, luckily, he went straight in and woke up daddy. The second time, we had the baby gate locked to his room, so daddy came and woke me up when he saw Luca standing at his door.

It’s time. It’s probably been time. But mommy needs to sleep in her big girl bed now.

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